It’s a new year. Are you as excited as I am?
I love the beginning of a new year. It’s a fresh start. It’s time to set some new goals. It’s a chance to look ahead and see all the possibility that awaits us all.
A highly debated topic this time of year is whether you should take the time to make resolutions. Most people have sworn them off because they have let themselves down one too many times.
We all have done it. We have set some big lofty goal, like getting in shape, and we tell ourselves we are going to the gym 5 days a week for the rest of our lives.
Then after about 3 days, we stop going. We know we should but we just can’t get ourselves to do it. It’s too hard. We don’t want to hate our lives. But then we start hating ourselves because we said we were going to do something and we failed. We feel ashamed and embarrassed. Every time our friends ask us how it’s going at the gym, we have to quickly decide if we are going to lie or if we are going to face ridicule. It’s awful. It’s stressful. It’s no fun.
So then we promise to never make another resolution again. That way we will be safe from ridicule, right? I mean, people can’t make fun for not doing something if you never said you were going to do it in the first place.
Two problems with swearing off resolutions
First of all, promising to never make another resolution again is within itself a resolution. So by doing this you have already blown it. It’s a classic paradox.
Secondly, do you really want to live the rest of your life never trying to achieve anything? Do you want to be that person who never tries anything new? I don’t think any of us want that either.
So what’s the answer.
Forgive yourself and try again.
First, You need to forgive yourself for not following through on the last thing. There are a million reasons why it probably happened, but the main one is that you are a human. A busy, distracted human like the rest of us. Show yourself a little grace. Be nice to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Someone should write a song about that. ;)
Second, get up and try again. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of trying again. That is a fundamental human quality. All throughout history humans have been getting knocked down time and again. But we keep getting back up. That is all that is happening to you now. You got knocked down. It’s ok. We all get knocked down. But now is the time to get back up. This is a new day, a new year. It’s time to try again.
What if you don’t stick to your new plan?
I know how it feels to be scared you are going to disappoint yourself again. But I’m here to give you permission to let yourself off the hook. You have that human spirit within you. You always have the power and the option to try again. No matter how many times you fail, you can try again.
So next time you let yourself down with a failed resolution, you’re going to forgive yourself and try again. If you never quit, then you are guaranteed to win. So often we focus on all the things we aren’t doing. We get mad at ourselves for all the things we quit. But do we ever celebrate all the things we are STILL doing?! Never. Isn’t that pretty backward?
We should be giddy every day because of all the things we did stick to. We go to work every day. We pay our bills the best we can. We go to church. We take care of our kids. We buy broccoli. Whatever those things are to you, you are doing them. Consistently. You are winning!
So should you make new year’s resolutions?
Absolutely! I think you should sit down and make a few right now. And when the next New Year comes around, look back at all you accomplished first. Then look at what you still need to accomplish. Set new goals and get to work.
Never give up on yourself. Never stop making new years resolutions. The people who learn to forgive themselves and keep trying are the people who win. I think this year is a good year for you to win too.