How to make a bucket list

If you were on your death bed right now, and you only had one hour to live, what would your biggest regrets be?

I know that is not a super fun question to ask yourself, but if you take the time to do it, you may be surprised how much it can affect your life.

When I quit drinking, I was lost. I found myself with a newfound energy and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. All I had ever done was drink, eat and sleep. Suddenly I was 40 years old and had no idea what the point of my life was.

That is when I decided to create my bucket list

What is a bucket list?

To me, a bucket list is more than just a list of things I want to do or places I want to go. Those things are on there for sure, but really a bucket list is a picture of what I want my life to be about. It’s a list of the things I want to do, the things I feel God is calling me to do, and the things I want to accomplish to feel like I lived a full life.

When I am on my death bed, whenever that day may come, I want to look back on my life with a grateful heart and the satisfaction of knowing I did it. I lived. Even if I didn’t accomplish all my goals, at least I tried. I got up every day and worked towards the life of my dreams. I was able to focus on the things that were important and shut out the noise that comes from all of the things that aren’t.

Hopefully, when it is all said and done, I was able to encourage others, build strong relationships, and leave the world in a little better shape than it was in when I found it.

How do you create a bucket list?

Here is the simple 7-step process that I took to map out my bucket list. I learned this from someone along the way and it has helped me learn what is really important to me.

1. List your regrets. Imagine yourself on your death bed. Today. You are going to die in an hour and you have just enough time to look back on your life. What would be your biggest regrets? Write these down.

2. List the actions you need to take. What do you need to start doing today to address these regrets? Typically, it is the opposite of whatever your regret is. So if you would regret not spending more time with your family, then one of your actions would be to spend more time with your family. Write these actions down.

3. Create your bucket list. Make a list of all these actions you want to take throughout your lifetime. They can be about your career, your money, family, friends, travel. Whatever you want them to be. It’s your list!

4. Print out your bucket list and post it in a place you will see every day. Mine is on the wall in my office/dining room. You can put yours in your bedroom, bathroom, office or in your car. It doesn’t matter where it is, it only matters that you see it every day.

5. Get to work. Start at the top of the list and start taking action. Some of these things may be something you do once like take a trip or buy a dog. Some of them may be changes you want to make in yourself over time like read more, spend more time with family, etc. The point is to start taking action. One thing at a time.

6. Be willing to let your list change and evolve. A big thing I have had to learn is that my list is always growing and changing. That’s ok! Be willing to let it change as you change. And believe me, doing things on your bucket list is going to change you in ways you never thought possible.

7. Tell others how to create their bucket list. Share this strategy with a friend or family member. Tell them what you are doing and how you came up with your list. You never know how one conversation like this could totally inspire someone to change their lives.

You have to actually do it

So many people are walking around like zombies. Most of us just go from one pointless activity to the next and never take the time to think about what we want our life to look like. By taking the time to do this exercise, you will be one of the few who broke out of that cycle. You will be free! And the rewards are seriously endless.

But you have to start. You have to actually do it. Most people love to sit around thinking about all the things they would love to do but never actually do any of them. Don’t be one of these people. Start taking action today.

Now seems like a pretty good time to start. So what are your regrets?

What Is Really Important To You?

Do you ever get really confused about life sometimes?

I get confused all the time. I let life overwhelm me and I literally forget what I’m doing. I forget the point of all this life stuff and I start focusing on things that don’t really matter.

I get distracted and stressed. Once I am stressed, I tend to focus on the stress which brings more of it into my life. The next thing I know I am depressed or bored and I don’t want to do anything but sit around and watch Netflix.

And as I sit there watching a show I am barely interested in, I can’t help but think…

What happened? How did I get here so fast?

Money is a subject that can do that to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love money, but I can get so caught up in how I am going to make my next $100 that I lose sight of the important stuff. I can focus really quickly on what I don’t have. How am I going to pay my bills? What if I can’t make enough money? I can lose my mind pretty quick when it comes to money.

Boredom is another thing that overtakes me often. Even when I am busy, I get bored. And then I start to focus on my boredom. That focus becomes a pity party. And before I know it, I feel lost again.

Loneliness is a common culprit as well. When I feel lonely, I can find myself going down the rabbit hole of isolation. You would think that when I feel lonely my instinct would be to reach out to friends, but it is actually the opposite. My instinct is to pull away from people, embrace the loneliness and try to find comfort in it.

Money, boredom, loneliness and so many other things become daily distractions for me. They confuse me. They pull me away from the life God wants me to live.

My point here is not to say that any of these things are bad. Sometimes you need to feel bored or lonely. It’s ok. It’s part of being human.

My point is to state that when I feel lost or confused, I need to remember what is important to me. I need to remind myself daily of the things that bring hope and joy into my life. The things that I feel called to do. The things that ring true with the life that God wants me to live.

So I made a list.

This may seem silly to some, but it is something I really needed to do. I sat down and made a list of all the things that are important to me. What are the things that give me life? What are the things that I am forgetting to do? What are the things that I need to spend more time doing?

After I made my list, I printed it out and put it up on my wall. I need to see this list every day. I need to be reminded of what it is I am supposed to be doing. When I get confused, all I have to do is look at my wall and I am reminded of what is really important in my life.

So what made the list? Here it is…

What Is Really Important To Me

My list of what is really important to me

1. Prayer and meditation

2. Exercise

3. Getting outside

4. Serving

5. Giving

6. Community

7. Friends

8. Family

9. Education

10. The arts

11. My dog

12. Phone calls

13. Meetings

14. Church

15. Sunrises and sunsets

16. Travel

17. Exploring my city

Simple. But life-changing.

I can’t tell you how much peace and joy this list gives me. It is a simple exercise but it restores hope in me to look at it. It is a list of what seem like obvious things, but when life gets crazy, I forget to do these things.

Having this list up on my wall gives me something I can do when I am feeling lost. I know I can go to my wall, stare at this list, find something to do and go out and do it.

I am sure this list will evolve with time. I will think of new things to put up there and always be adding to the list. But this list right here gives me a great place to start. Making time for these things sounds like the kind of life I want to live.

So how about you? What is on your list? If you struggle with feeling lost or confused like I do, I would highly recommend making a list and sticking it up on your wall. What have you got to lose?

Leave me a comment and share what is important to you. Who knows, I might have to add some of your suggestions to my list too!

Should You Make New Year's Resolutions?

It’s a new year. Are you as excited as I am?

I love the beginning of a new year. It’s a fresh start. It’s time to set some new goals. It’s a chance to look ahead and see all the possibility that awaits us all.

A highly debated topic this time of year is whether you should take the time to make resolutions. Most people have sworn them off because they have let themselves down one too many times.

We all have done it. We have set some big lofty goal, like getting in shape, and we tell ourselves we are going to the gym 5 days a week for the rest of our lives.

Then after about 3 days, we stop going. We know we should but we just can’t get ourselves to do it. It’s too hard. We don’t want to hate our lives. But then we start hating ourselves because we said we were going to do something and we failed. We feel ashamed and embarrassed. Every time our friends ask us how it’s going at the gym, we have to quickly decide if we are going to lie or if we are going to face ridicule. It’s awful. It’s stressful. It’s no fun.

So then we promise to never make another resolution again. That way we will be safe from ridicule, right? I mean, people can’t make fun for not doing something if you never said you were going to do it in the first place.

Two problems with swearing off resolutions

First of all, promising to never make another resolution again is within itself a resolution. So by doing this you have already blown it. It’s a classic paradox.

Secondly, do you really want to live the rest of your life never trying to achieve anything? Do you want to be that person who never tries anything new? I don’t think any of us want that either.

So what’s the answer.

Forgive yourself and try again.

First, You need to forgive yourself for not following through on the last thing. There are a million reasons why it probably happened, but the main one is that you are a human. A busy, distracted human like the rest of us. Show yourself a little grace. Be nice to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Someone should write a song about that. ;)

Second, get up and try again. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of trying again. That is a fundamental human quality. All throughout history humans have been getting knocked down time and again. But we keep getting back up. That is all that is happening to you now. You got knocked down. It’s ok. We all get knocked down. But now is the time to get back up. This is a new day, a new year. It’s time to try again.

What if you don’t stick to your new plan?

I know how it feels to be scared you are going to disappoint yourself again. But I’m here to give you permission to let yourself off the hook. You have that human spirit within you. You always have the power and the option to try again. No matter how many times you fail, you can try again.

So next time you let yourself down with a failed resolution, you’re going to forgive yourself and try again. If you never quit, then you are guaranteed to win. So often we focus on all the things we aren’t doing. We get mad at ourselves for all the things we quit. But do we ever celebrate all the things we are STILL doing?! Never. Isn’t that pretty backward?

We should be giddy every day because of all the things we did stick to. We go to work every day. We pay our bills the best we can. We go to church. We take care of our kids. We buy broccoli. Whatever those things are to you, you are doing them. Consistently. You are winning!

So should you make new year’s resolutions?

Absolutely! I think you should sit down and make a few right now. And when the next New Year comes around, look back at all you accomplished first. Then look at what you still need to accomplish. Set new goals and get to work.

Never give up on yourself. Never stop making new years resolutions. The people who learn to forgive themselves and keep trying are the people who win. I think this year is a good year for you to win too.