A Million Little Things

I have been feeling really anxious, agitated and frustrated lately.

Anyone else?

It seems like every little thing turns into a big deal. It’s left me feeling confused, angry and searching for answers.

I think this is something that a lot of us do to ourselves. With a lot of meditation, prayer, and conversations with some great people, I have started to learn a few things about myself. I’ve got a few ideas on how to make it stop.

I internalize all the little annoying things that happen throughout my day and turn them into personal failures. I write these moments off as “annoying” or “stressful” but what I am really saying internally is “I’m a failure. I screwed up again. If I was better, that wouldn’t have happened. What’s wrong with me?

I’ve already done it while writing this blog post. When I opened up my Chrome browser, I got a notification. You know those annoying notifications you get at the top of your screen from Facebook or YouTube or whatever. I thought I had turned this off. Matter of fact I know I did, but yet here we are. It’s still happening. Instantly I get pissed at myself. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I figure out how to turn off my notifications? I did what google told me to do. Why isn’t it working?

Frustrating yes. Personal failure no.

Sometimes it’s true that something is missing. I don’t have all the information yet. But is that my fault? Does that make me a bad person? Is that a failure?

No. Not at all. It just means that I haven’t learned everything in the world yet. I have a little more studying to do. But how am I supposed to make myself accountable to know things that I don’t even know about yet? That’s a battle I can never win. But placing these impossible expectations on myself, I set myself up for failure. It is the only possible outcome.

I need to learn that if I don’t know something, then it’s not a failure. It’s just something I still need to learn. That really is all there is to it.

It happened another time while writing this post. I used some incorrect grammar (which I do a lot) while typing that first paragraph. Instantly I judged myself. Anger. Frustration. What is wrong with me? Why am I not smarter? If I was smarter I wouldn’t be messing up grammatically and having to spend time fixing all my mistakes. Isn’t it ok to make mistakes? Do I have to have perfect grammar to be ok? No. And besides, they make awesome apps for that now. Grammarly anyone?! :)

A million little frustrations become a million big failures

I take these super small annoying things that happen throughout my day and turn them into big failures. I do this a million times a day and it all adds up to a million failures. And by mid-afternoon, I am emotionally exhausted and trying to figure out why. Maybe it’s because I just spent the first half of my day railing on myself for every little thing I could find wrong. This leads to anger. Depression. Anxiety. Frustration. Agitation. And generally just feeling like an absolute loser.

Here are just a few examples of the way I do this every day. Do any of these sound familiar?

Dropping something in the kitchen, bumping into some furniture, my computer freezing up, when I misread my GPS app and take a wrong turn while driving, when a client questions me, when a student quits their lessons, when someone doesn’t call me back, when I forget the words to a song, when I play a wrong note on the piano, when I fumble on my words when talking to someone. And on and on it goes. A million little things turning into a million huge failures. Every day. Day after day.

Make it stop!

The good news is now that I am aware of this, there is something I can do about it. I need to practice catching these little things as they happen. Acknowledge the frustration and then speak the truth. These are not personal failures. These are just a part of life. I am a human being who makes mistakes. I am a human being who is still learning new things. I am a human being who needs to practice being kinder to myself.

The keyword here is “practice” This is not going to happen overnight. But if I can start making this a daily practice, I can start catching more and more of these little frustrations before they become huge self-deprecating moments.

So my new practice is to acknowledge these little things and to be kinder to myself. If I can do this a million times a day then everything changes. And right now, a change sounds pretty good to me.

How Do You Measure Success?

Social media is a depressing place to hang out. At least it has been for me this past year.

As we all know, social media is where everybody shows their “best lives.” We see all the awesome trips, all the happy families, all the great accomplishments, and yet we see none of the failure, sadness and loneliness. If you are judging your life by comparing it to others on social media, you are sure to live a very depressed life, feeling like a failure.

How I Spent My Time In 2019

I’ve been learning a lot about myself over this last year. One of the big things I have learned is that I have these negative core beliefs about myself. Somewhere along the line I learned to hate myself. I felt like I was always destined to fail because I was a loser. This isn’t always a conscious thought, but it is always playing in the back of my head. So much so that it has become a core belief about myself.

So then I go out into the world and try to find evidence to prove this core belief. Social media is a great place to do that.

Whether it is how many monthly listeners somebody else has on Spotify or how many followers someone has on Instagram, I can always find plenty of people who are doing so much better than me. Then I only focus on those people. Instead of being grateful for the success I have had, I only look at people who are having more success because that proves my theory that I am a loser. I am destined to fail. Instagram and Spotify tells me that every day. As long as that is what I want to see.

What if I choose to see something else?

What if I choose to see the thousand people who do follow me on Instagram as a thousand actual human beings who want to interact with me. Or see the hundred monthly listeners on Spotify who actually keep coming back because they love my music.

I mean, how much is ever enough? If 1,000 followers isn’t enough, will I be happy with 10,000? Do I need 100,000 to be successful? That’s a game I can never win.

I guess my point is we will see what we want to see. If you want to prove you are a loser, then you will find all the evidence you need. But if you want to prove that you are killing it, the evidence is there to prove that as well. We become who we believe we are.

So How Do You Measure Success?

We should measure success by comparing ourselves today to ourselves yesterday. Are we better today than we were yesterday? If we can say yes, then that is success.

We should never compare ourselves to someone else. We always pick out some super hero who is doing amazing things, compare ourselves to them, fall way short, and then feel like a failure. Often this leads us to give up or at least be really down on ourselves.

But we are comparing their years of work to our days of work. We don’t know everything that went into getting them to where they are. Maybe they have been at it for 10 years and we have only been at it for 2. It’s unfair to expect us to be at the same place they are.

We waste too much time comparing ourselves to others. It’s useless. What we need to do is compare ourselves to ourselves. Have we made progress? Are we better today than we were yesterday? If we are growing and improving, then we are succeeding. That is how you define success.

Stop comparing your worst day to every one else’s best day.

Stop comparing your 2 years of work to someone else’s 10. Stop comparing your lonely day at home to someone else’s amazing vacation in Cancun. You can never win that game. All you will do is ware yourself down and make yourself depressed.

Focus on you. Focus on your growth. Measure your metrics and check in on them monthly. Are they improving?

If so, you are killing it. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep growing and striving. And when you get to your 10 year mark, you will be able to look back at year 2 and see how far you have come. You will be the new standard. You will be who you want to be so badly right now. It’s just a matter of time.

Finally, it is important to note that our self-worth should never come from social media numbers. Those numbers have nothing to do with happiness or contentment. Our worth comes from being a creation of God.

Our worth comes from a power that is bigger than us. This power loved us before there was Facebook or even My Space, so we have to keep this all in perspective. All this social media stuff is nonsense when you really look at the big picture. And if social media is making you hate yourself more, is it really worth it? Maybe it’s time to let it go and get back to living the real life you were meant to live.

Should You Make New Year's Resolutions?

It’s a new year. Are you as excited as I am?

I love the beginning of a new year. It’s a fresh start. It’s time to set some new goals. It’s a chance to look ahead and see all the possibility that awaits us all.

A highly debated topic this time of year is whether you should take the time to make resolutions. Most people have sworn them off because they have let themselves down one too many times.

We all have done it. We have set some big lofty goal, like getting in shape, and we tell ourselves we are going to the gym 5 days a week for the rest of our lives.

Then after about 3 days, we stop going. We know we should but we just can’t get ourselves to do it. It’s too hard. We don’t want to hate our lives. But then we start hating ourselves because we said we were going to do something and we failed. We feel ashamed and embarrassed. Every time our friends ask us how it’s going at the gym, we have to quickly decide if we are going to lie or if we are going to face ridicule. It’s awful. It’s stressful. It’s no fun.

So then we promise to never make another resolution again. That way we will be safe from ridicule, right? I mean, people can’t make fun for not doing something if you never said you were going to do it in the first place.

Two problems with swearing off resolutions

First of all, promising to never make another resolution again is within itself a resolution. So by doing this you have already blown it. It’s a classic paradox.

Secondly, do you really want to live the rest of your life never trying to achieve anything? Do you want to be that person who never tries anything new? I don’t think any of us want that either.

So what’s the answer.

Forgive yourself and try again.

First, You need to forgive yourself for not following through on the last thing. There are a million reasons why it probably happened, but the main one is that you are a human. A busy, distracted human like the rest of us. Show yourself a little grace. Be nice to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Someone should write a song about that. ;)

Second, get up and try again. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of trying again. That is a fundamental human quality. All throughout history humans have been getting knocked down time and again. But we keep getting back up. That is all that is happening to you now. You got knocked down. It’s ok. We all get knocked down. But now is the time to get back up. This is a new day, a new year. It’s time to try again.

What if you don’t stick to your new plan?

I know how it feels to be scared you are going to disappoint yourself again. But I’m here to give you permission to let yourself off the hook. You have that human spirit within you. You always have the power and the option to try again. No matter how many times you fail, you can try again.

So next time you let yourself down with a failed resolution, you’re going to forgive yourself and try again. If you never quit, then you are guaranteed to win. So often we focus on all the things we aren’t doing. We get mad at ourselves for all the things we quit. But do we ever celebrate all the things we are STILL doing?! Never. Isn’t that pretty backward?

We should be giddy every day because of all the things we did stick to. We go to work every day. We pay our bills the best we can. We go to church. We take care of our kids. We buy broccoli. Whatever those things are to you, you are doing them. Consistently. You are winning!

So should you make new year’s resolutions?

Absolutely! I think you should sit down and make a few right now. And when the next New Year comes around, look back at all you accomplished first. Then look at what you still need to accomplish. Set new goals and get to work.

Never give up on yourself. Never stop making new years resolutions. The people who learn to forgive themselves and keep trying are the people who win. I think this year is a good year for you to win too.

Lunch Break Concert #26 - This is the Christmas one!

Lunch Break Concert #26 went down on Monday December 9th2019!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Click play below to watch the replay.

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Lunch Break Concert #25 - These are the Principles

Lunch Break Concert #25 went down on Monday December 2nd 2019!

Pick your Principles experience HERE!

I hope these songs inspire you today.

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Forgiveness Is Here!

The new single from Chris Swan is here!

This is the 12th and final principle in my 12 Core Principles to a happy, fulfilled life.

Lunch Break Concert #24 - Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

Lunch Break Concert #24 went down on Monday November 25th 2019!

This LBC opens with the Bob Marley classic Three Little Birds followed by two of my original songs - Gaspin’ and Perfect.

I hope these songs inspire you today.

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**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video

Lunch Break Concert #23 - Generosity

Lunch Break Concert #23 went down on Monday November 18th 2019!

This LBC opens with Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing by Stevie Wonder followed by two of my original songs - Generosity and H.O.P.E.

I hope these songs inspire you today.

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Lunch Break Concert #22 - When Will I Be Good Enough?

Lunch Break Concert #22 went down on Monday November 11th 2019!

This LBC features 3 of my original songs - The Fellowship, The Mess Around and Gratitude.

I hope these songs inspire you today.

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Lunch Break Concert #21 - Some Of My Favorite Principles

Lunch Break Concert #21 went down on Monday November 4th 2019!

This LBC features 3 of my favorite Principles - Abundance, Acceptance and Education.

I hope these songs inspire you today.

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**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video

Generosity Is Here!

The new single from Chris Swan is here!

This is the 11th principle in my 12 Core Principles to a happy, fulfilled life.

Lunch Break Concert #20 - Is My Purpose The Same As God's Purpose?

Lunch Break Concert #20 went down on Monday October 21st 2019!

This LBC opens with Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio, followed by my songs Perfect and Influence.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our own plans. How do we know if our plans are God’s plans? I don’t really have an exact answer. But the biggest thing we can do is pray about it. Meditate on it. Ask God to show us. And then we need to be willing to listen. Do you know what your purpose is?

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Lunch Break Concert #19 - How To Find Happiness When It's Cold Outside

Lunch Break Concert #19 went down on Monday October 21st 2019!

This LBC starts with principle #5 - my song Believe, followed by my cover of “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World. And I close the show with “H.O.P.E.”

Hope is alive and well. Even when it’s cold outside. Remember the sun is still there even if you can’t see it. Pick up the phone and call a friend. You are never alone.

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Lunch Break Concert #18 - Getting Thru A Blah Day

Lunch Break Concert #18 went down on Monday October 14th 2019!

I open this one up with a great song about by Sir Elton John “I’m Still Standing.” Then I did a cover of Bille Eilish’s song “I Love You.”

Some days are hard. But I’m so grateful to be able to get through the hard days without alcohol or overeating. I have seen first hand how that stuff doesn’t actually help. I have freedom from that today and it’s ok to just feel blah sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day and God is good.

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Lunch Break Concert #17 - Music Makes Everything Better

Lunch Break Concert #17 went down on Monday October 7th 2019!

I open this one up with a great song I love from the 90’s called “You Get What You Give.” It’s like a love song to music. I also do my songs “Dreamer” and “Education.”

Music is so powerful. This one is all about celebrating music and playing some songs that make me happy. I hope they make you happy too.

Click HERE for a free download of my single Education!

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Lunch Break Concert #16 - Letting Go Of Anger

Lunch Break Concert #16 went down on Monday September 30th 2019!

I open this one up with a Stevie Wonder classic “Loves In Need Of Love Today.” I also do my songs “Acceptance” and “H.O.P.E.”

Anger steals our joy. But it’s so hard to let go of. The key is to love ourselves. Love the person we’re angry at. And then let it go by accepting them and the situation for what it is. We don’t have to change people, we only have to change ourselves.

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Lunch Break Concert #15 - How To Deal With Overwhelm

Lunch Break Concert #15 went down on Monday September 23rd 2019!

I do two of my original songs from my first album What Is Your Soul Motivation? - “Gaspin’” and “Start Again” and open the show with a “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten.

Life can be stressful. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling it lately. First of all, it helps to know we are not alone. Secondly, we need to learn to let go of some things in our life. Thirdly, we can always pause and take a breath.

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Lunch Break Concert #14 - Money

Lunch Break Concert #14 went down on Monday September 16th 2019!

I do two of my original songs - “The Mess Around” and “Abundance” and open the show with a Beatles classic - “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

Today we are talking about money. I share some of our common issues with money and what we can do to overcome them.

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Lunch Break Concert #13 - Acceptance

Lunch Break Concert #13 went down on Monday September 9th 2019!

I do two of my original songs - “Acceptance” and “H.O.P.E.” and perform my cover of “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World.

Our anger and resentment comes from the past. Our worry and fear comes from the future. Our peace, however, comes from the present. The answer to staying in the present is practicing acceptance. If we can learn to accept people for who they are and situations for what they are, we can truly be free.

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Lunch Break Concert #12 - Labor Day Edition - Time For A Vacation

Lunch Break Concert #12 went down on Monday September 2nd 2019 - Labor Day!

I open with an 80’s classic “Break My Stride” and then perform 2 of my original songs - Vacation and Ambition. Hope you get inspired form these songs!

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