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Living A Recovered Life
Lunch Break Concert #24 went down on Monday November 25th 2019!
This LBC opens with the Bob Marley classic Three Little Birds followed by two of my original songs - Gaspin’ and Perfect.
I hope these songs inspire you today.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
Lunch Break Concert #23 went down on Monday November 18th 2019!
This LBC opens with Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing by Stevie Wonder followed by two of my original songs - Generosity and H.O.P.E.
I hope these songs inspire you today.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
Lunch Break Concert #22 went down on Monday November 11th 2019!
This LBC features 3 of my original songs - The Fellowship, The Mess Around and Gratitude.
I hope these songs inspire you today.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
When it comes to forgiveness, I read a really great story in the book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Waltz.
The story talked about a husband and wife who were having a rough patch in their relationship. The husband had cheated on his wife and he confessed to her. It was really hard but they worked through it with some counseling. She decided to forgive him and they stayed together.
Whenever he would do something to upset her, she would act very cold and distant to him. She would say something like “I have forgiven you but I haven’t forgotten.”
In order to forgive someone, we need to truly let go. We need to forget too. Otherwise, we are just holding onto their sins, throwing them in their face whenever we feel like it, and making sure they feel bad, while we continue to build up our resentment toward them.
That sounds awful. That doesn’t sound like forgiveness.
Forgiveness means we totally surrender. We give up our emotions to God or the Universe or whatever you believe in, but we have to let them go. It is impossible to forgive someone and hold on to those emotions. It doesn’t mean we can’t feel the emotions, but it means we need to stop soaking ourselves in them. In other words, it is impossible to forgive and NOT forget. The two go hand in hand.
It is not about letting the other person off the hook, it is about letting ourselves off the hook. We get to be free if we truly forgive the other person. Forgiveness frees us from the bondage of anger. It destroys our fears. It opens up our connection with that person and it allows us to love them.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I have to be around someone I don’t love, I am miserable. If you don’t forgive someone who you spend a lot of time with, you are sentencing yourself to a life of misery with that person. Is it really worth it just to prove how hurt you are?
We owe it to ourselves to let go. We were created to be at peace, but as long as we hold onto our anger, we won’t be.
By the way, other people are not the only people we need to forgive. We need to forgive ourselves too. For all the same reasons. We don’t spend nearly as much time with anyone else as much as we spend with ourselves, so we need to be sure we love ourselves. If we don’t, it’s going to be a long, sad life.
Are you willing to let go and forgive? Even more, are you willing to truly forget? I’m not saying it’s easy, but if we want to be free, we don’t have a choice. The good news is we don’t have to do it alone. God can take that burden off your shoulders. That is what He does. Let Him do what He does best.
How many times have you heard this story?
Some dude, let’s call him John, works super hard his whole life. He climbs the corporate ladder and ends up a top executive at his firm.
As he gets older, his wife begs him to retire so they can relax and travel more. He resists as long as he can but eventually, he takes his leave.
The company throws him a nice party at the Holiday Inn. They give him a shiny watch and he gives them some cliche speech about how he has enjoyed his time with the company.
Then he makes some joke about his golf game. Everyone laughs. “Oh, John. We are going to miss you around here,” says everyone he chats up as he leaves the party that night.
The next thing he knows, he finds himself waking up on a Monday morning with absolutely nothing to do.
At first, this idea seemed fantastic. Finally, he would have time to do all the things he has been putting off. He can clean the gutters and repair the shed like he has wanted to do for years. But when the actual day came, he woke up terrified. The only thing he could think was…
He tries to take up some hobbies. He joins the country club and starts to work on his golf game. But something is missing. He is bored. He is restless. He grows more and more depressed and anxious.
He begins to get snippy with his wife. Maybe he takes up drinking to fill the time and to feel a little better. He’s miserable and he is a miserable person to be around.
One day, he seems to be sleeping in a little later than usual, so his wife goes to wake him up and get him going for the day. But when she tries, she notices he is cold to the touch. He died in his sleep. That’s it. His life is over.
It had only been 8 months since he retired. They were supposed to spend their golden years traveling the world and now he’s gone. He was in perfect health.
It turns out he had nothing else to live for besides his job. When that was taken away, so was his purpose in life. He had nothing left. And no matter how hard he tried to find it in menial hobbies, he couldn’t. He gave up. And when our soul gives up, our body is quick to follow.
This is such a sad story that happens time and time again. We hear about it all the time. Without a purpose, something to live for, strive for, we wither up and die.
Humans are not meant to just exist. We are meant to grow and achieve great things. We live for a challenge. We have to have a goal on the horizon in order for us to feel some hope. Without hope, life starts to feel pretty pointless.
What would have changed the story for John? I don’t know exactly. But I do know that we need something more than a job to live for. Jobs will come and go. Careers can change. We need something deeper than that to hold onto. We need a personal mission statement.
What is our life about? What do we care most about? What legacy do we want to leave when we are gone? If we can answer these questions and put them into a statement we can remember, then we have a fighting chance. We have something bigger than ourselves that we are living for.
Here is my mission statement:
To be a light where it is dark
To make as much music as I can that inspires and encourages people who are hurting
To be constantly improving on my craft of writing, performing, recording and mixing
To provide a community to those who feel isolated and alone
To be THE leader in the positive hip hop movement
To be 100% debt free
To have $3.8M in the bank and be financially free
To travel the world
To make my record company a successful business and do it fulltime
To start a company that helps others pay their medical bills
To weigh 220 pounds and maintain that weight for life
To spend every waking moment of every day fulfilling this purpose.
It’s not perfect and it is always evolving, but it gives me a true north to head towards. It gives me purpose and fills me with hope. It inspires me on days when things feel pointless. It gives me life.
If you don’t want to end up another tragic story like John, there is something you can do. Sit down and write out your mission statement. Have you ever done that? It doesn’t have to be perfect, just get it started. Get something down on paper.
Read your mission statement every day. It will keep you centered and focused. And when that day comes where you want to retire, you can do so with peace because you know you are just retiring from a job. You are not retiring from the ambitions that drive you.
There is no watch shiny enough that could ever get me to retire from those.
Diets suck. And they make Mondays suck. You know why? Because every time I blew it on a diet, Monday was the day I would start over.
Monday was the official start day of the new diet around my house growing up. It happened so often, that it became a joke. We would use the phrase “I’ll start over on Monday” as an excuse to eat whatever we wanted over the weekend.
Sometimes Monday would come and go and nothing would change. But then sometimes things did change, and it was the worst.
I had just spent the weekend eating all my favorite foods and now I was supposed to stop cold turkey? I was supposed to go to Weight Watchers and get on a scale in front of other people?
Ugh.
As life went on and I learned more about myself, it became clear the dieting was not the answer for me. I am so grateful I found recovery in Overeaters Anonymous. No more diets for me. And even though I don’t practice the “I’ll start over on Monday” mantra anymore, I did learn a lot from it.
My parents are amazing people. They struggle with a lot of things like we all do, but they are both fighters. I saw my parents start over again and again and again. Sure, part of me thought they were crazy to keep beating themselves up like that. I used to think “Stop lying to yourself. We both know you aren’t going to start that diet on Monday.”
But then as I got older it hit me. They aren’t beating themselves up. They are doing what every human was born to do. They are surviving.
It takes a lot of guts to keep showing up for yourself time and time again. It takes a lot of courage to fall down and get back up again - over and over again. And that is what my parents have always done.
No matter how hard things got, they never gave up. I didn’t realize what I was learning at the time, but now I am so thankful that they instilled that value in me. I wouldn’t be half the man I am now if I didn’t have the value of perseverance coursing through my veins. And that all comes from watching my mom and dad.
My parents would eat ice cream on Friday and start over on Monday. They would get into a fight on Thursday but then forgive each other on Monday.
And guess what, they are still married today. That is perseverance and not something most people are willing to do.
It is so easy to give up. You can find 10 people around you who will back you up if you decide to quit anything. They will tell you all the reasons you should, how your life is so hard and why it’s not worth fighting anymore.
But inside us, we all know that we can have more. We know that we can do better. That is the human spirit. It is in each one of us instinctually.
Every now and then on a Monday I get that same feeling of dread I used to get when I was a kid. I get that feeling of “Here we go again.” And then I remember the truth. I GET to do this again. Monday is a new day. It’s a new chance. Monday is my chance to right some wrongs, to grow and to reach out for the life of my dreams.
It’s Tuesday and I already can’t wait for Monday to come.
Lunch Break Concert #21 went down on Monday November 4th 2019!
This LBC features 3 of my favorite Principles - Abundance, Acceptance and Education.
I hope these songs inspire you today.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
The new single from Chris Swan is here!
This is the 11th principle in my 12 Core Principles to a happy, fulfilled life.
Lunch Break Concert #20 went down on Monday October 21st 2019!
This LBC opens with Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio, followed by my songs Perfect and Influence.
It’s so easy to get caught up in our own plans. How do we know if our plans are God’s plans? I don’t really have an exact answer. But the biggest thing we can do is pray about it. Meditate on it. Ask God to show us. And then we need to be willing to listen. Do you know what your purpose is?
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way
If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day
I try so hard but I can’t believe
That you and I are just meant to be
In different times and realities
When we’re both here right now, you see
I want to know what’s in your mind
What you love and what you find
Each day you travel through this shrine
But we don’t seem to find the time
I don’t see you and you don’t see me
When we’re trapped inside
You could be me and I could be you
It’s just a matter of time
I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way
If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day
What will it take for us to change
To share our joy and share our pain
To take the time right now feels strange
We can’t keep on doing the same
Everything I have is a gift
I wouldn’t have it if it wasn’t given to me
Everything I see is a lift
I wouldn’t be this high if God wasn’t with me
Every day I live is a chance
And I wouldn’t get it if I didn’t listen to the truth that is all around
Blocking out the lies
And I hate the sound of fear in disguise
Here’s what I found
See, you and I are pretty much the same being
Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down
But if you look around you can see it’s the same thing
The world will make you lonely if you let it
It took some time for me to get it
You can’t just set it and forget it
‘Cuz we need each other
Bet it
I don’t see you and you don’t see me
When we’re trapped inside
You could be me and I could be you
It’s just a matter of time
I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way
If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
Generosity is principle #11 of Chris Swan’s 12 Core Principles to a happy, fulfilled life.
To learn more about the 12 Core Principles, please click HERE.
© 2019 Soul Motivation Records
Written by Chris Swan
Published by Luped Up Music/ASCAP
All rights reserved
Click on a principle to learn more about it:
I spend most of my time just trying to get through the day. I am in my own head constantly. Thinking about me and what I need to do to be happy today.
What am I going to eat today? What am I going to do for fun today? How am I going to deal with life today?
It’s all about me. No wonder I feel a lot of misery on these days. That’s the irony of it all. I spend so much time trying to figure out how to make myself happy that it makes me miserable.
And who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?
What’s the answer then? I mean, don’t we all want to be happy? Isn’t that a valid pursuit? Isn’t that what life is all about?
When I was at COR - the food recovery retreat that saved my life - one of the speakers said something that changed my life. He said…
That’s it! The thing I have been looking for all my life. I had been so involved in myself and so wrapped up in my addictions that I didn’t have anything left to give to others. I was blocked off from God because I was numbing everything out with food and alcohol. And then because I felt disconnected from God, I also felt disconnected from people. I felt isolated and alone. And this led to misery.
I found my answer at COR - I need to love other people more.
So if I have the answer, why am I still struggling? Sure I am not in the food anymore and I quit drinking over 3 years ago, but I still struggle with feeling that connection with people. I still feel lonely and isolated a lot. What’s up with that? I thought I was fixed?!
I can honestly say that my relationships are so much better today than they were a few years ago and that is all because of recovery. I can honestly say that I see God working in my life every day and that is all because of recovery. I have a hope that I never had before and that is, yep you got it, all because of recovery.
I’m healing but I’m not healed. There’s a difference. And I don’t think any of us ever become fully healed. But there is so much peace and joy that comes from the healing. I truly have to remember to stay in the present and be thankful for where I’m at today. It’s light-years away from where I was.
And when it comes to people, I need to keep working on giving of myself more. I give in a lot of ways, but I still can be super selfish. I need to remember that we are here to love each other. True happiness comes from that connection with people. I need people. I need you. And I want you to know that I’m glad you are in my life.
That is a pretty great purpose that I can get behind. It takes patience and it takes generosity. I have to be willing to give all that has been given to me. And by giving I get another day.
Generosity
The new single - Principle #11 - is coming 11.1.19
Lunch Break Concert #19 went down on Monday October 21st 2019!
This LBC starts with principle #5 - my song Believe, followed by my cover of “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World. And I close the show with “H.O.P.E.”
Hope is alive and well. Even when it’s cold outside. Remember the sun is still there even if you can’t see it. Pick up the phone and call a friend. You are never alone.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
Can you write a good blog post in 40 minutes?
I don’t know. Let’s see.
Why is it 2:22 pm on my day off and I am still sitting at my computer working? I have a coaching call in 38 minutes. I was supposed to spend the morning relaxing but here I am. Still working.
Part of it is I love my work. It’s true, I do. But part of it is being afraid to stop. What happens when I stop? How do I relax without a drink, a cigarette or a pizza?
I don’t know.
I have been in recovery for about a year and a half now and I still struggle with this. Every day. I don’t know how to relax yet. For years and years, I used food to relax. And then when I was old enough, I started using alcohol to relax. And then I used both. I don’t think I have ever relaxed without a substance involved.
So what do you do when you take all the substances away?
You work all the time. You never relax. At least, that is what I have been doing. Work just becomes the new addiction, because I am using it to avoid my feelings. If I relax then I have to feel things. But I have been doing the work every day. Why am I still running from feelings? Maybe it’s not one of the big feelings? Maybe it’s just the dreaded…
Boredom!
It may just be boredom, but I don’t want to be bored. I hate being bored.
Does anyone like being bored?
I think often in recovery we feel like we were just running from the big emotions - anger, fear, loneliness. But we forget that sometimes we were just running from boredom and that one is harder to get our heads around. Is it ok to be bored? Of course, it is, but it sucks. And us addicts don’t’ know how to deal with it.
I keep hoping that tomorrow I will magically be able to deal with being bored, but tomorrow still hasn’t come. I’m starting to think this never changes. Are you telling me that “normal” people are just ok with being bored? How is that possible? What do you do with the boredom?
Before I drive myself completely crazy with all the questions, I have to pause and breathe…
Ok, that’s a little better. So what is the answer here? What is the solution to boredom while being sober?
The real answer is I don’t think there is an answer. And that is exactly why I can’t do life on my own anymore. I can’t deal with there not being an answer. But you know you can? God can. And that is why I have to trust Him.
Self-will will ruin me. Self-will will tell me to fix the boredom. But God will tell me to relax. It’s going to be ok. Just sit there. Be quiet and be bored. You are going to survive.
I don’t like it, but I also don’t like hangovers. I don’t like weighing 505 pounds and feeling like I am about to have a heart attack. I don’t like feeling hopeless. So I’m going to trust God on this one because my answers never worked for me in the past.
I am going to let myself feel the boredom, just like I have learned to feel the anger and fear. I’m going to just sit here and be bored. I’ll let you know if I survive.
My time is up…
Lunch Break Concert #18 went down on Monday October 14th 2019!
I open this one up with a great song about by Sir Elton John “I’m Still Standing.” Then I did a cover of Bille Eilish’s song “I Love You.”
Some days are hard. But I’m so grateful to be able to get through the hard days without alcohol or overeating. I have seen first hand how that stuff doesn’t actually help. I have freedom from that today and it’s ok to just feel blah sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day and God is good.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
There it is again. That great advice I got from my dad and he got from his mom - my grandmother for those of you who are doing the math at home.
Previously, I shared my list of Best Books To Read Before You Die. This was a list of all the books I have read (this far in life) that have completely changed my life.
These days, there are so many ways to get information into our brains. We are truly living in exciting times. There are books, audiobooks, online courses, YouTube videos, and on and on. But besides books, by far my favorite is podcasts.
So as promised, in honor of my new single called “Education,” here is my list of the best podcasts to listen to before you die.
The Cerebral Entertainment Podcast
There are so many freaking podcasts out there. Every day someone is starting a new one. It can be really overwhelming. Matter of fact, now that I am typing this I am remembering a few more I could add to the list. Good lord.
The point is I’m sure there are so many good ones that I don’t even know about. What did I miss? What are some of your favorites? Leave me a comment below and let me know what you are listening to!
Lunch Break Concert #17 went down on Monday October 7th 2019!
I open this one up with a great song I love from the 90’s called “You Get What You Give.” It’s like a love song to music. I also do my songs “Dreamer” and “Education.”
Music is so powerful. This one is all about celebrating music and playing some songs that make me happy. I hope they make you happy too.
Click HERE for a free download of my single Education!
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
Lunch Break Concert #16 went down on Monday September 30th 2019!
I open this one up with a Stevie Wonder classic “Loves In Need Of Love Today.” I also do my songs “Acceptance” and “H.O.P.E.”
Anger steals our joy. But it’s so hard to let go of. The key is to love ourselves. Love the person we’re angry at. And then let it go by accepting them and the situation for what it is. We don’t have to change people, we only have to change ourselves.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
That’s probably the best advice I’ve ever been given. It’s something my dad says all the time and he got it from his mother (my grandmother). That sentence really sums up how I want to live my life.
In honor of my new single coming out on October 1st called “Education,” I thought it might be fun to share with you some of the books that have changed my life. That is not an overstatement for effect.
These books have literally changed my life.
That’s why I love reading so much. You never know if the next book might change the whole game for you. It has happened to me many times and the following books are the ones that have done it. Here are the best books to read before you die!
7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Beyond Victim Consciousness by Lynne Forrest
You Are A Badass At Making Money by Jen Sincero
Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Profit First by Mike Michalowicz
Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
This Is Marketing by Seth Godin
Permission Marketing by Seth Godin
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
$100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau
Building A Storybrand by Donald Miller
Scientific Advertising by Claude Hopkins
The Boron Letters by Gary Halbert
The Ultimate Sales Letter by Don Kennedy
Made To Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
The Reason For God by Timothy Keller
Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) by Anonymous
The Bible (ESV Study Bible) by God
I can’t recommend these books highly enough. If these subjects are something you struggle with, start with any one of these and it will shed a whole lot of light into your life. I even included the links to purchase them on Amazon so you have no excuses. I am not an affiliate or anything. I don’t get any money if you buy these. I just wanted to share them with you because somebody did that for me and my life has been changed forever!
I am just getting started too. There are so many more on my list and there is so much more to learn. I can’t wait!
I’d love to hear what you are reading. What books have changed your life? Leave me a comment and let me know!
BTW, next up is Best Podcasts To Listen To Before You Die - Stay Tuned!
Lunch Break Concert #15 went down on Monday September 23rd 2019!
I do two of my original songs from my first album What Is Your Soul Motivation? - “Gaspin’” and “Start Again” and open the show with a “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten.
Life can be stressful. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling it lately. First of all, it helps to know we are not alone. Secondly, we need to learn to let go of some things in our life. Thirdly, we can always pause and take a breath.
Click play below to watch the replay.
**Be sure the volume is turned up on the video
