What Is Really Important To You?

Do you ever get really confused about life sometimes?

I get confused all the time. I let life overwhelm me and I literally forget what I’m doing. I forget the point of all this life stuff and I start focusing on things that don’t really matter.

I get distracted and stressed. Once I am stressed, I tend to focus on the stress which brings more of it into my life. The next thing I know I am depressed or bored and I don’t want to do anything but sit around and watch Netflix.

And as I sit there watching a show I am barely interested in, I can’t help but think…

What happened? How did I get here so fast?

Money is a subject that can do that to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love money, but I can get so caught up in how I am going to make my next $100 that I lose sight of the important stuff. I can focus really quickly on what I don’t have. How am I going to pay my bills? What if I can’t make enough money? I can lose my mind pretty quick when it comes to money.

Boredom is another thing that overtakes me often. Even when I am busy, I get bored. And then I start to focus on my boredom. That focus becomes a pity party. And before I know it, I feel lost again.

Loneliness is a common culprit as well. When I feel lonely, I can find myself going down the rabbit hole of isolation. You would think that when I feel lonely my instinct would be to reach out to friends, but it is actually the opposite. My instinct is to pull away from people, embrace the loneliness and try to find comfort in it.

Money, boredom, loneliness and so many other things become daily distractions for me. They confuse me. They pull me away from the life God wants me to live.

My point here is not to say that any of these things are bad. Sometimes you need to feel bored or lonely. It’s ok. It’s part of being human.

My point is to state that when I feel lost or confused, I need to remember what is important to me. I need to remind myself daily of the things that bring hope and joy into my life. The things that I feel called to do. The things that ring true with the life that God wants me to live.

So I made a list.

This may seem silly to some, but it is something I really needed to do. I sat down and made a list of all the things that are important to me. What are the things that give me life? What are the things that I am forgetting to do? What are the things that I need to spend more time doing?

After I made my list, I printed it out and put it up on my wall. I need to see this list every day. I need to be reminded of what it is I am supposed to be doing. When I get confused, all I have to do is look at my wall and I am reminded of what is really important in my life.

So what made the list? Here it is…

What Is Really Important To Me

My list of what is really important to me

1. Prayer and meditation

2. Exercise

3. Getting outside

4. Serving

5. Giving

6. Community

7. Friends

8. Family

9. Education

10. The arts

11. My dog

12. Phone calls

13. Meetings

14. Church

15. Sunrises and sunsets

16. Travel

17. Exploring my city

Simple. But life-changing.

I can’t tell you how much peace and joy this list gives me. It is a simple exercise but it restores hope in me to look at it. It is a list of what seem like obvious things, but when life gets crazy, I forget to do these things.

Having this list up on my wall gives me something I can do when I am feeling lost. I know I can go to my wall, stare at this list, find something to do and go out and do it.

I am sure this list will evolve with time. I will think of new things to put up there and always be adding to the list. But this list right here gives me a great place to start. Making time for these things sounds like the kind of life I want to live.

So how about you? What is on your list? If you struggle with feeling lost or confused like I do, I would highly recommend making a list and sticking it up on your wall. What have you got to lose?

Leave me a comment and share what is important to you. Who knows, I might have to add some of your suggestions to my list too!

How Do You Measure Success?

Social media is a depressing place to hang out. At least it has been for me this past year.

As we all know, social media is where everybody shows their “best lives.” We see all the awesome trips, all the happy families, all the great accomplishments, and yet we see none of the failure, sadness and loneliness. If you are judging your life by comparing it to others on social media, you are sure to live a very depressed life, feeling like a failure.

How I Spent My Time In 2019

I’ve been learning a lot about myself over this last year. One of the big things I have learned is that I have these negative core beliefs about myself. Somewhere along the line I learned to hate myself. I felt like I was always destined to fail because I was a loser. This isn’t always a conscious thought, but it is always playing in the back of my head. So much so that it has become a core belief about myself.

So then I go out into the world and try to find evidence to prove this core belief. Social media is a great place to do that.

Whether it is how many monthly listeners somebody else has on Spotify or how many followers someone has on Instagram, I can always find plenty of people who are doing so much better than me. Then I only focus on those people. Instead of being grateful for the success I have had, I only look at people who are having more success because that proves my theory that I am a loser. I am destined to fail. Instagram and Spotify tells me that every day. As long as that is what I want to see.

What if I choose to see something else?

What if I choose to see the thousand people who do follow me on Instagram as a thousand actual human beings who want to interact with me. Or see the hundred monthly listeners on Spotify who actually keep coming back because they love my music.

I mean, how much is ever enough? If 1,000 followers isn’t enough, will I be happy with 10,000? Do I need 100,000 to be successful? That’s a game I can never win.

I guess my point is we will see what we want to see. If you want to prove you are a loser, then you will find all the evidence you need. But if you want to prove that you are killing it, the evidence is there to prove that as well. We become who we believe we are.

So How Do You Measure Success?

We should measure success by comparing ourselves today to ourselves yesterday. Are we better today than we were yesterday? If we can say yes, then that is success.

We should never compare ourselves to someone else. We always pick out some super hero who is doing amazing things, compare ourselves to them, fall way short, and then feel like a failure. Often this leads us to give up or at least be really down on ourselves.

But we are comparing their years of work to our days of work. We don’t know everything that went into getting them to where they are. Maybe they have been at it for 10 years and we have only been at it for 2. It’s unfair to expect us to be at the same place they are.

We waste too much time comparing ourselves to others. It’s useless. What we need to do is compare ourselves to ourselves. Have we made progress? Are we better today than we were yesterday? If we are growing and improving, then we are succeeding. That is how you define success.

Stop comparing your worst day to every one else’s best day.

Stop comparing your 2 years of work to someone else’s 10. Stop comparing your lonely day at home to someone else’s amazing vacation in Cancun. You can never win that game. All you will do is ware yourself down and make yourself depressed.

Focus on you. Focus on your growth. Measure your metrics and check in on them monthly. Are they improving?

If so, you are killing it. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep growing and striving. And when you get to your 10 year mark, you will be able to look back at year 2 and see how far you have come. You will be the new standard. You will be who you want to be so badly right now. It’s just a matter of time.

Finally, it is important to note that our self-worth should never come from social media numbers. Those numbers have nothing to do with happiness or contentment. Our worth comes from being a creation of God.

Our worth comes from a power that is bigger than us. This power loved us before there was Facebook or even My Space, so we have to keep this all in perspective. All this social media stuff is nonsense when you really look at the big picture. And if social media is making you hate yourself more, is it really worth it? Maybe it’s time to let it go and get back to living the real life you were meant to live.

These Are The Principles: A Behind The Scenes Look At The Principles Album and Training Course

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How To Not Die When You Retire

How many times have you heard this story?

Some dude, let’s call him John, works super hard his whole life. He climbs the corporate ladder and ends up a top executive at his firm.

As he gets older, his wife begs him to retire so they can relax and travel more. He resists as long as he can but eventually, he takes his leave.

The company throws him a nice party at the Holiday Inn. They give him a shiny watch and he gives them some cliche speech about how he has enjoyed his time with the company.

Then he makes some joke about his golf game. Everyone laughs. “Oh, John. We are going to miss you around here,” says everyone he chats up as he leaves the party that night.

The next thing he knows, he finds himself waking up on a Monday morning with absolutely nothing to do.

At first, this idea seemed fantastic. Finally, he would have time to do all the things he has been putting off. He can clean the gutters and repair the shed like he has wanted to do for years. But when the actual day came, he woke up terrified. The only thing he could think was…

What do I do now?

He tries to take up some hobbies. He joins the country club and starts to work on his golf game. But something is missing. He is bored. He is restless. He grows more and more depressed and anxious.

He begins to get snippy with his wife. Maybe he takes up drinking to fill the time and to feel a little better. He’s miserable and he is a miserable person to be around.

One day, he seems to be sleeping in a little later than usual, so his wife goes to wake him up and get him going for the day. But when she tries, she notices he is cold to the touch. He died in his sleep. That’s it. His life is over.

It had only been 8 months since he retired. They were supposed to spend their golden years traveling the world and now he’s gone. He was in perfect health.

What happened?

It turns out he had nothing else to live for besides his job. When that was taken away, so was his purpose in life. He had nothing left. And no matter how hard he tried to find it in menial hobbies, he couldn’t. He gave up. And when our soul gives up, our body is quick to follow.

This is such a sad story that happens time and time again. We hear about it all the time. Without a purpose, something to live for, strive for, we wither up and die.

Humans are not meant to just exist. We are meant to grow and achieve great things. We live for a challenge. We have to have a goal on the horizon in order for us to feel some hope. Without hope, life starts to feel pretty pointless.

It’s ambition that keeps us alive.

What would have changed the story for John? I don’t know exactly. But I do know that we need something more than a job to live for. Jobs will come and go. Careers can change. We need something deeper than that to hold onto. We need a personal mission statement.

What is our life about? What do we care most about? What legacy do we want to leave when we are gone? If we can answer these questions and put them into a statement we can remember, then we have a fighting chance. We have something bigger than ourselves that we are living for.

Here is my mission statement:

To be a light where it is dark
To make as much music as I can that inspires and encourages people who are hurting
To be constantly improving on my craft of writing, performing, recording and mixing
To provide a community to those who feel isolated and alone
To be THE leader in the positive hip hop movement
To be 100% debt free
To have $3.8M in the bank and be financially free
To travel the world
To make my record company a successful business and do it fulltime
To start a company that helps others pay their medical bills
To weigh 220 pounds and maintain that weight for life
To spend every waking moment of every day fulfilling this purpose.

It’s not perfect and it is always evolving, but it gives me a true north to head towards. It gives me purpose and fills me with hope. It inspires me on days when things feel pointless. It gives me life.

Everybody wants but nobody tries.

If you don’t want to end up another tragic story like John, there is something you can do. Sit down and write out your mission statement. Have you ever done that? It doesn’t have to be perfect, just get it started. Get something down on paper.

Read your mission statement every day. It will keep you centered and focused. And when that day comes where you want to retire, you can do so with peace because you know you are just retiring from a job. You are not retiring from the ambitions that drive you.

There is no watch shiny enough that could ever get me to retire from those.

Why Monday Doesn't Suck Anymore

Diets suck. And they make Mondays suck. You know why? Because every time I blew it on a diet, Monday was the day I would start over.

Monday was the official start day of the new diet around my house growing up. It happened so often, that it became a joke. We would use the phrase “I’ll start over on Monday” as an excuse to eat whatever we wanted over the weekend.

Sometimes Monday would come and go and nothing would change. But then sometimes things did change, and it was the worst.

I had just spent the weekend eating all my favorite foods and now I was supposed to stop cold turkey? I was supposed to go to Weight Watchers and get on a scale in front of other people?

Ugh.

As life went on and I learned more about myself, it became clear the dieting was not the answer for me. I am so grateful I found recovery in Overeaters Anonymous. No more diets for me. And even though I don’t practice the “I’ll start over on Monday” mantra anymore, I did learn a lot from it.

I learned how to never give up.

My parents are amazing people. They struggle with a lot of things like we all do, but they are both fighters. I saw my parents start over again and again and again. Sure, part of me thought they were crazy to keep beating themselves up like that. I used to think “Stop lying to yourself. We both know you aren’t going to start that diet on Monday.”

But then as I got older it hit me. They aren’t beating themselves up. They are doing what every human was born to do. They are surviving.

They are fighting because it is in their DNA to persevere.

It takes a lot of guts to keep showing up for yourself time and time again. It takes a lot of courage to fall down and get back up again - over and over again. And that is what my parents have always done.

No matter how hard things got, they never gave up. I didn’t realize what I was learning at the time, but now I am so thankful that they instilled that value in me. I wouldn’t be half the man I am now if I didn’t have the value of perseverance coursing through my veins. And that all comes from watching my mom and dad.

My parents would eat ice cream on Friday and start over on Monday. They would get into a fight on Thursday but then forgive each other on Monday.

And guess what, they are still married today. That is perseverance and not something most people are willing to do.

It is so easy to quit.

It is so easy to give up. You can find 10 people around you who will back you up if you decide to quit anything. They will tell you all the reasons you should, how your life is so hard and why it’s not worth fighting anymore.

But inside us, we all know that we can have more. We know that we can do better. That is the human spirit. It is in each one of us instinctually.

Humans fight. We don’t give up.

Every now and then on a Monday I get that same feeling of dread I used to get when I was a kid. I get that feeling of “Here we go again.” And then I remember the truth. I GET to do this again. Monday is a new day. It’s a new chance. Monday is my chance to right some wrongs, to grow and to reach out for the life of my dreams.

It’s Tuesday and I already can’t wait for Monday to come.

Generosity: The Lyrics

Generosity

I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way

If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day

I try so hard but I can’t believe
That you and I are just meant to be
In different times and realities
When we’re both here right now, you see

I want to know what’s in your mind
What you love and what you find
Each day you travel through this shrine
But we don’t seem to find the time

I don’t see you and you don’t see me
When we’re trapped inside
You could be me and I could be you
It’s just a matter of time

I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way

If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day

What will it take for us to change
To share our joy and share our pain
To take the time right now feels strange
We can’t keep on doing the same

Everything I have is a gift
I wouldn’t have it if it wasn’t given to me
Everything I see is a lift
I wouldn’t be this high if God wasn’t with me
Every day I live is a chance
And I wouldn’t get it if I didn’t listen to the truth that is all around
Blocking out the lies
And I hate the sound of fear in disguise
Here’s what I found
See, you and I are pretty much the same being
Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down
But if you look around you can see it’s the same thing
The world will make you lonely if you let it
It took some time for me to get it
You can’t just set it and forget it
‘Cuz we need each other
Bet it

I don’t see you and you don’t see me
When we’re trapped inside
You could be me and I could be you
It’s just a matter of time

I hold on tight don’t want to let it go
‘Cuz if I do I might begin to let it show
All of my fear has come to stay
There’s got to be another way

If I look up and I begin to fly
Would anyone know the reason why
All of my fear has gone away
By giving I get another day

By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day
By giving I get another day

Generosity is principle #11 of Chris Swan’s 12 Core Principles to a happy, fulfilled life.
To learn more about the 12 Core Principles, please click HERE.

© 2019 Soul Motivation Records
Written by Chris Swan
Published by Luped Up Music/ASCAP
All rights reserved

Believe: The Story Behind The Song

Click play below to hear more about my song Believe and the story behind the song!

The Power Of Belief

“If I want to achieve then I gotta believe.”

There was a very specific, pivotal moment in my life. It wasn’t a wedding day or a graduation day, it was the day I decided to believe again. Not just believing in God, but believing in possibilities. Choosing hope over cynicism.

Somewhere along the path of life, I became extremely cynical. I think it happens to a lot of us.

When we are kids, the world is a magical place. Every day is an adventure full of wonder and joy. This is why kids never want to go to bed and can’t wait to get up in the morning. Their life is awesome and exciting.

And then we grow up. We get hurt a few times. And it all starts to change.

Fast forward a few years and we are miserable. We see the world as a dark, depressing place. We are trapped in a routine that never changes. There is nothing new to explore. No more adventures. No more excitement. Just work, bills and taxes.

Maybe we get out and do something fun on the weekend, but it’s short-lived and we are right back to our mundane existence on Monday.

This is when bitterness sets in. What happened to our life? We used to have dreams and goals. When did it all change? Why do we all of the sudden dread everything we have to do?

And that’s when it happens. That’s the day you become a cynic.

After crossing over to the dark side, there is no more hope. There is no more wonder. And any beliefs you had about the possibilities in your life, go right out the window. We start looking at the world as a curse instead of a blessing.

We make fun of people who look happy. We tell ourselves that people who have the kind of life we want just got lucky and we are not meant to have that kind of life. Nope. We are meant to be fat. Broke. Lonely. And depressed. That’s just the way it is for people like us.

What if you just decided to change that way of thinking? Right now. Right here.

What if you chose to believe? What if it is really true that our lives are a manifestation of our thoughts and if you changed your thoughts you could change your life? What is the worse thing that would happen if you just decided that you were going to believe in life again like you did when you were a kid?

That was the pivotal moment in my life. The day everything changed for me was the day I asked myself those exact questions. And I chose to go for it.

I decided to believe again.

Once I made that decision, I also had to keep my eyes and heart open to see the opportunities in my life. I had to fight off cynicism constantly and look for the good stuff. I had to stop making excuses and stop making fun of happy people. I had to try. I had to get up and do something. But if there was real hope on the other side, it would be totally worth it.

I can tell you now that there is and it was.

I started seeing doors opening. I started seeing different people coming into my life. I started having successes in ways I never thought possible.

Was life perfect and easy from then on? Of course not. But something was different. Things were actually happening. And the best part of it all was I started to get excited again. I started to have moments where I felt like a little kid. I had dreams and I believed that they were possible. I had a reason to get up in the morning.

I was finally living the life I always wanted. All I had to do was choose it.

Life sucks sometimes. There are plenty of people who will tell you that. And it’s true. But I’m here to tell you that there is a whole other side to life that is just waiting for you. You are meant to be happy. You are meant to be successful Your “luck” is just waiting for you to find it. I promise it’s there.

All you have to do is choose to believe.

Believe
The new single from Chris Swan and Soul Motivation Records
Coming 5.1.19!

Serve: The Story Behind The Song

Click play below to hear more about my song Serve and the story behind the song!

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Acceptance: Official Lyrics Video

This is the year of change and Acceptance is the third single in a series of "mindset-changing" songs I am releasing this year. This song is based on the 12 core principles that I believe are the key to freedom from depression and anxiety. The first being Abundance, the second Gratitude and now the third is Acceptance.

Once we learn to accept the people around us and the situations we find ourselves in, the sooner we will find peace. We can't change other people. We can only change ourselves. This song is an upbeat hip-hop anthem for practicing acceptance in our every day lives! #acceptance

Acceptance: The Story Behind The Song

Hit play to hear what inspired my song Acceptance and what I hope you get out of it.  And be sure to share this video with those who you think need to hear it!

Gratitude: Official Lyrics Video

🙏🏻Everything we want is right in front of us, we just have to choose to see it. The way we do that is to start practicing gratitude! My song Gratitude was written as a reminder to do this every day. I made a lyrics video so you can listen and read along. Check it out and remember all the awesome in your life today! #gratitude

Gratitude: The Story Behind The Song

Hit play to hear what inspired my song Gratitude and what I hope you get out of it.  And be sure to share this video with those who you think need to hear it!

Abundance: The Story Behind The Song

Hit play to hear what inspired my song Abundance and what I hope you get out of it.  And be sure to share this video with those who you think need to hear it!